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Thursday 29 December 2016

The Tyranny of Bowls: a rant.

Being mildly bullied by the Government, the forces of the Law, criminals, social media, and, of course, our dear friends and family, is, sadly, inevitable.

There's no need, though, for us to put up with being bullied by inanimate objects. Plates, particularly. Or bowls. 

Mugs are possibly the worst culprits of all.

What's the point of having a plate which instructs us by the means of a message on its rim to fill it with PASTA?

And there's no ignoring these inscriptions, is there. I mean, eating a rice pudding in a bowl marked SOUP is going to skew the eating experience bewilderingly towards a risotto, however strong-minded we are.

Consider the utter olfactory confusion of drinking tea out of a COFFEE mug; or the horrid disappointment of a healthy green salad served on a plate labelled EGGS & BACON.

Still, I felt vindicated the other day. I was sent a catalogue from the china company Emma Bridgewater.

The picture of their lettered 'Black Toast' French Bowl couldn't show all the letters of the circular legend PORRIDGE...

...so all it said was ORRID.

Quite right, too.

Word To Use Today: horrid. This word meaning unpleasant comes from the Latin horridus, prickly or rough, from horrēre, to bristle.




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