I have a deep affection for jokes about ancient countrymen. Unfortunately they went out of fashion in about 1930, but, hey, fashion isn't everything.
MISTRESS OF THE HOUSE: How are the cucumbers doing?
COUNTRYMAN: They'll do. I just put some muck round'em.
MISTRESS OF THE HOUSE: You shouldn't say muck, you should say manure!
COUNTRYMAN: What? But it's taken me twenty years to learn to call it muck!
If the word manure might be thought prissy, then ordure is ten times worse. In fact I don't think anyone could use this word unless holding a lorgnette and wearing tweed - and tweed takes ten years to make comfortable, and as far as I can see lorgnettes aren't for sale even on Amazon.
For myself, I think I'll stick with muck.
Photo by Paul Clarke
Sunday Rest: ordure. This word comes form the Old French ord, which means dirty, from the Latin horridus, which means shaggy.